you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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