There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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