I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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