i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
