The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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