shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
