I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize