How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
