Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
