Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
