he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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