I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
