Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
