I want to stick my p in your. b.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
