Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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