Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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