the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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