a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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