I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
