Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
