I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
