I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize