I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
