Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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