I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
