i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
