well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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