If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
