am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
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she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
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I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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