Sorry, I don't speak sober.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
