escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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