i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
