im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just found a bag of teeth...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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