just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
