i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
no, he came in my armpit
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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