have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
