The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
