Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
