doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
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I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I love you. Go after that dick
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