tell your sister to shave her snatch
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
