Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
