the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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