Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
