I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
