theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
