Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
