It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Enjoy the penises
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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