You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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