He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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