this beer tastes like vomit already
Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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