So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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