he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
