2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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