Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
