Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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