Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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