And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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