I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
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