She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder