Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead

Fav 8 1704 850
share tweet
(802): View more from Vermont

my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???

Fav 46 2724 18441
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life

Fav 48 6322 2778
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.

Fav 19 1580 3940
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(561): View more from Florida

A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night

Fav 6 3140 927
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.

Fav 5 1887 1270
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped

Fav 33 1616 916
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.

Fav 2 604 785
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.

Fav 0 38 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT