He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere