Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

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(805): He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/fsan

Replies (31) Good night (5000) Bad night (1367)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone

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(832): moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone http://tfl.nu/qe9x

Replies (13) Good night (3376) Bad night (1497)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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(843): so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor.. http://tfl.nu/qi2l

Replies (30) Good night (886) Bad night (12841)
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(419): View more from Ohio

i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself

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(419): i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself http://tfl.nu/tgru

Replies (18) Good night (3403) Bad night (4722)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I got her a Nickelback box set.

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(317): I got her a Nickelback box set. http://tfl.nu/3u3u

Replies (80) Good night (1886) Bad night (26464)
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(904): View more from Florida

Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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(904): Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do. http://tfl.nu/0tan

Replies (18) Good night (6188) Bad night (1537)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.

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(225): all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices. http://tfl.nu/vgow

Replies (31) Good night (7583) Bad night (1369)
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(509): View more from Washington

Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

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(509): Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested. http://tfl.nu/8mit

Replies (3) Good night (1265) Bad night (1534)
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(540): View more from Virginia

You'll get a boner for sure

(703): View more from Virginia

Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey

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(540): You'll get a boner for sure (703): Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey http://tfl.nu/k43v

Replies (3) Good night (1208) Bad night (577)
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(450): View more from Quebec

She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...

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(450): She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do... http://tfl.nu/okgn

Replies (10) Good night (3581) Bad night (757)
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(818): View more from California

the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes

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(818): the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes http://tfl.nu/djiq

Replies (2) Good night (1151) Bad night (553)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.

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(913): I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed. http://tfl.nu/4bjv

Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (398)
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(386): View more from Florida

Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.

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(386): Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together. http://tfl.nu/96ms

Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (399)
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(630): View more from Illinois

It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help

(630): View more from Illinois

My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help

(630): View more from Illinois

This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can

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(630): It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help (630): My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help (630): This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can http://tfl.nu/n0mf

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (409)
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(360): View more from Washington

I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000

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(360): I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000 http://tfl.nu/u3g9

Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (289)

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