wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.