Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

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  (570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds? (1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 http://tfl.nu/vzb8
  Replies (109) Good night (40627) Bad night (2298)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...

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  (937): I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub... http://tfl.nu/665a
  Replies (9) Good night (6208) Bad night (687)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?

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  (215): How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers? http://tfl.nu/g3e9
  Replies (44) Good night (7186) Bad night (1213)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"

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  (573): So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX" http://tfl.nu/a1ku
  Replies (20) Good night (1651) Bad night (5585)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.

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  (251): Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game. http://tfl.nu/jamc
  Replies (18) Good night (5048) Bad night (1018)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?

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  (239): I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling (1-239): You hooked up with minors in a golf cart? http://tfl.nu/sx7k
  Replies (7) Good night (4275) Bad night (1125)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk

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  (785): Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk http://tfl.nu/b78y
  Replies (13) Good night (1433) Bad night (1629)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2584) Bad night (621)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!

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  (903): Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!! http://tfl.nu/fyj1
  Replies (7) Good night (2099) Bad night (482)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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  (303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (364)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done

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  (301): Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done http://tfl.nu/5hl8
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (390)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while

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  (978): i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while http://tfl.nu/owfg
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (382)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left

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  (519): I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left http://tfl.nu/xq18
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (226)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.

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  (303): She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on. http://tfl.nu/j7fi
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (297)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?

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  (602): He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered? http://tfl.nu/3ecf
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (253)

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