idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
