im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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