Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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