there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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